


Penitence

by skysthelimit_7



Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Robots & Androids, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-04
Updated: 2012-09-04
Packaged: 2017-11-13 13:30:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/504029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skysthelimit_7/pseuds/skysthelimit_7
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>His body doesn’t have skin yet, but his head is already complete. He's a perfect copy of what Erik was.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Penitence

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [And His Maker](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/11237) by shizuke. 



> Thanks to imprintofadream for being my beta!

Charles types the code, closes his eyes. Takes a deep breath.

The doors open and he goes in, slowly, with his wheelchair – ignoring all the prototypes, the mechanic legs he designed but couldn’t bring himself to put on (the wheelchair was his penitence, a reminder, _don’t forget this is all your fault_ ).

And there he is.

Erik.

Not really Erik, not yet. His body doesn’t have skin for now, but his head is already complete, a perfect copy of what Erik was.

  
After it happened, Charles started to work hard, only stopping when his body couldn’t take it anymore. He designed his mechanic legs just to keep his mind busy with something that wouldn’t let him think of anything else. He finished the legs, but decided he wasn’t going to use them (penitence, _this is_ _your fault, you couldn’t fix him so you’re not going to fix yourself_ ). Instead, he built a body, a head, a face. _His face_ , so he would never forget. So he could have him back. So he could die every time he saw him and think _I deserve all this pain_.

Erik lies on the table, and he looks like he could be sleeping. His face is perfect; Charles finished it just yesterday. He touches it, hand trembling. It’s too soft, but what does it matter, it’s still his face. Erik looks like he did before, not like that one last time, blood and pain and _I can’t, Charles, I can’t_ , more pain.

The android's positronic brain has all the necessary programming, the same software all the other androids have. They have different types of personality traits stored in their brains, and each one of the androids gets their own character by mixing all of them in a random way from the moment they are turned on. Every android is unique, special.

But Erik’s personality is not yet stored into this brain. Charles plans on putting everything he knows about him, even his own memories, in Erik’s positronic brain to recreate his nature. And he’ll have him back. He will be different, but he will still be Erik.

  
God, he misses him so much. He would give anything to have him back now, to look into his eyes and…

And maybe he can. He really should see if everything is working for now before he starts to cover the body with synthetic skin; if anything goes wrong he can fix it more easily now. Charles could turn him on just for a second, just to make sure everything is all right…

He doesn’t think. He turns the android on.

Erik opens his eyes instantly and blinks a few times, adjusting to the light. He sits on the table, and his eyes, just as blue as Charles remembers, curiously focus on him.

Charles’s heart breaks all over again. It all comes back to him: the first time he saw him, chasing after Shaw, who had stolen a prototype from him. The first time they worked together, how they never agreed on anything at first. That time when a discarded positronic brain blew up and scared both of them, and how much they laughed every time they remembered the incident.  
Their first kiss. Everything they had. Everything Charles took away. He should have been more careful, he was distracted, _this is all my fault…_

He can’t take this, he killed him, oh God he killed him, he wants to die, he can’t breathe. Now Erik’s here again and how can he look him in the eye, how can he forget what he did? How will he fix this? He just can’t.

  
Charles turns his wheelchair to leave, but something stops it. It’s Erik. He’s so beautiful and Erik and _there_. _Don’t go_ , his eyes ask, for he still cannot speak. But Charles doesn’t deserve this look, this kindness. Erik should hate him, because he caused all this.

He leaves. He runs away.

 

 * * *

Charles makes an effort to calm himself. He wipes his tears and takes a deep breath. _You have to think clearly, Charles_ , he tells to himself.

That’s not Erik, in there. It’s an android he created. That android doesn’t have his personality, or his memories, he is not going to blame him for anything, or to tell him it’s all right for that matter, because he doesn’t remember anything. It’s not really Erik. Erik is dead.

  
Some days he thinks he is going insane. Actually, some days going insane doesn’t even seem like a bad idea. But he has to focus now. He has to get back, turn that android off and keep working on it (until it’s not an android anymore, until it’s him), so he does.

He finds Erik standing in front of a mirror. He has something in his hands, but Charles can’t see what – he doesn’t think he can speak, so he gets closer and points to it. Erik kneels in front of him, such a human gesture, and shows him a picture of Erik and Charles, and, in the middle, the first prototype they did together, Magneto. Charles’s heart clenches at the memory.

Erik touches Charles’s face in the photo, then points at him. Then his fingers move slowly between Erik and the prototype. _Which one am I?_  
  
  
This android… he is not the man in the left, even if Charles wants him to be. He looks so lost, so human, but so unlike Erik.

And suddenly all the things he’s been denying to himself hit him. As much as he wants to, this android will never be Erik. He left him on for too long. This android is beginning to have his own personality, is beginning to be someone else. Erik loved that about their programming, that each one of them was different.

He wouldn’t have wanted Charles to… to kill him for Erik. Erik is not coming back anyway. Erik is dead, and even if Charles manages to get all the information he has about him into the android, it still won’t be him.

Because Erik is dead, and he is not coming back. Charles wants to die. He should have died then, with him.

A cold, soft metallic hand places on his cheek, cups his face. Gently. The android slowly caresses his face, wipes his tears.

And Charles cries.


End file.
